old man, millennial, and 12 year old in battle
by notawritersh
Summary: Bucky, Sam, and Peter live in the same floor together. A greasy old man who had no clue about humour nowadays, a millennial, and a Gen Z. Not to mention all the shit Peter goes through and Bucky just keeps losing his mind trying to help Peter while also beginning to understand Gen Z culture.


So a new fanfic. Kinda more of a jokey one, but I am planning to have Peter a depressed little fucker because I'm such a terrible person to him and he deserves so so so much better. But the angst isn't gonna start for a while, maybe a few chapters.

This is gonna be a sort of one shot series. Like, it'll be in chronological order but I'm considering it a one shot series lmao.

old man: James Buchanan Barnes

millennial: Sam Wilson

12 year old: fucking Peter Benjamin Parker even though he's like 15-16.

The one shots will take place after Civil War (I've been told enough about it to know what happens) and in the middle of Homecoming.

Basically the backstory is that after Civil War Peter thinks Falcon and Bucky are super cool and Bucky lowkey thinks he's so cool and I just threw Sam into this since they're getting their own show, hope this made sense.

Enough with the shit, here we go!

* * *

**Chapter 1: Bucky Does An Oopsie**

"Jesus fuck- Bucky!" Peter nearly jumped up to the ceiling from being startled. You'd be scared too if a greasy old man was just standing there in front of your bedroom door as if he had the right to do that. To be fair, he did, but that wasn't the point. The point was- whatever.

"Language, kid." James said gruffly. "We have a mission." He turned on his heel and headed to the living area of their floor.

Stark had given them an entire floor to themselves, Bucky and Sam shared it with Peter. Granted, Stark still hated Bucky for, well, everything, but Peter's puppy-dog eyes finally convinced him that, yes, maybe having the kid hang out with people other than a dysfunctional shitty adult who couldn't even be a good role model for him. Even though James is a very well trained assassin and Peter had like maybe one interaction with Sam.

Peter's eyes lit up as soon as he heard the word "mission." He grinned and changed into his new Spider-Man outfit. God, that was so cool, and it was so much more comfortable than his baggy homemade one. Peter had been so excited when he heard that his room was by the fucking _Winter _fucking _Soldier_. A man with a metal arm! How cool could you be?! And he was so badass and holy shit he wanted to learn so much about him what are you talking about Peter doesn't fanboy.

As for Falcon, well, he wasn't that enthusiastic about the floor situation but at this point he could've cared less. He got along with his floor mates just fine at least, especially Parker, he was an enthusiastic kid. He suited up and waited in the living room beside Bucky to wait for Peter.

The teen finally left his room after vlogging the first part of his day, but they didn't know that, and he didn't _want_ them to know that because it was so embarrassing to tell someone that he vlogs his spidey life but doesn't even let anyone watch it. "Okay, what's the plan, Sarge?" He said, jumping up onto the couch, smirking under the Soldier's glare. Of course, Bucky couldn't see the smirk, so he just started explaining the mission.

"Someone's gonna deal alien tech tonight to a guy in some alley near Times Square, we got a tip, maybe we could observe from afar and see what happens, maybe we could get them to spill who their supplier is."

"I really doubt that." Peter spoke up, and both of the adults' heads snapped to him.

"Why?" Sam asked.

"I've been trying to see who they were for weeks, nothing. Absolutely nothing. No evidence, I can't even hack into their phones or run a facial recognition, but go off I guess."

"What the fuck- it doesn't matter. We'll check it, and the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man can interrupt their chit chat. Falcon, you're there for backup, in case things go rough. We'll keep our distance, I know he's your main enemy right now." Bucky jerked his head slightly and Peter assumed that was a nod, so they all go and head to Times Square and look for any suspicious gatherings, Falcon flying, Peter web swinging, and the Soldier riding his motorcycle that he finally decided to buy, because he's Bucky.

Bucky is an old dumbass badass.

While Peter swung from building to building, he noticed Bucky riding beside him, and slowed down so they can talk. Peter Parker was talking the fucking _Bucky_, how many teenagers could say that?

"What's up, Sarge?" He felt so much more confident with his suit, its like he didn't even need to think of witty remarks, they just happened.

"What the fuck does 'go off' mean, kid?" He sounded almost grumpy, and Peter couldn't help himself but laugh.

"Basically, if someone says something that another person thinks is dumb or something like that, they say 'go off'," Peter tried to explain, stifling another laugh that threatened to burst out. "Its like you're telling them to continue rambling about the topic, if that makes sense?"

Bucky nodded his head slowly, but it was clear that, no, it did not made sense, at least not to him.

Give the man a break, he's old.

Spider-Man just smiled and continued swinging, looking around for any suspicious bad guys, wondering how he could ever possibly explain his vine references.

* * *

Peter perched on top of a lamp post, observing the situation while Bucky and Sam hung back to make sure he was okay.

"You sure this was a good idea bringing a kid to the mission?"

"No, but he's practically begging all of us to train him and if we don't, he's only gonna get himself to even bigger trouble." Sam had to nod in agreement to that.

Peter, meanwhile, decided that the deal was getting out of hand, with the dealer threatening the potential buyer and offering them more and more dangerous equipment by the second. Sam accidentally sneezed, not being able to hold it in, and Bucky glared at him, knowing that they were lucky that they were hidden in the trees.

"Did you set us up, man?" The dealer snapped at the buyer, pulling out his gun and pointing it at him, and the poor guy put his hands up.

"I ain't no snitch."

"Hey, if you want to shoot at someone, shoot at me." Peter called, hopping down from the post and holding his arms out. Bucky silently groaned exasperatedly. _What the fuck is this dumbass kid thinking_? Still, the kid seemed capable enough, so he didn't interrupt them just yet.

"Okay." The man raised his gun at Spider-Man and pulled the trigger, and Peter's spider-sense rang just in time for him to dodge it without getting shot, but his second dodge wasn't so great. He moved the wrong way, and the bullet struck his calf and laid snugly into his flesh. The kid fought to keep himself from screaming in pain by biting the inside of his cheek, accidentally making that bleed as well.

"You're hurt, Peter." Karen's calm voice filled his ears from his mask, and he widened his eyes.

"Shit, _Shit_, don't tell Mr. Stark, Karen, _please._" Peter begged.

"Tony Stark has been alerted."

He stumbled back a bit, groaning frustratedly, not showing his pain because god forbid if he showed the dealer or even Bucky or Sam that he was in pain he was not going to hear the end of it. "That the best you got?" Peter asked cheekily, getting ready to web the man up, when the dude whips out some sort of weapon. Like, holy shit, its _big_, and shut up, please don't say 'that's what she said.'

The dealer powered it up and aimed it at Spider-Man, laughing as if this was funny to him. It probably was, in a weird twisted way. But before he had the chance to even try and pull the weapon away, Falcon flew in and pushed Peter to the side, and the kid involuntarily winced when his leg caught on the ground, making the bullet dig itself deeper into his skin.

Okay, maybe it was a bit painful, but it was nothing that he couldn't handle. He was Spider-Man for god sake. He's gone through worse than this, but why was he feeling dizzy?

Bucky jumped in front of the dealer and flew hands with him, a strange feeling of protectiveness with Peter. He did feel like he had some sort of responsibility for him, and he didn't really want to hear Stark yell for the fiftieth time.

He knocked the guy out, and the ex-buyer had long since fled the scene.

The Sergeant walked over to Peter and helped the kid up while Sam started taking pictures of the man's face in hopes of getting some facial recognition, and evidence of the alien tech weapons.

"You okay, kid?"

Peter tried to ignore the wave off dizziness that washed over him as he struggled to stand up, and felt the full force of the gunshot wound on his leg, full knowing that the adrenaline he had been feeling already washed off.

"I had it handled." Peter answered, probably not in the kindest tone, but he was tired, and he wanted to close his eyes and rest, wrapped up in his nice warm blanket.

"Kid, you would've been burnt into fried chicken if he shot you with that thing, no way you would've dodged that." Sam said, looking behind him before

"Mm," Peter mumbled, not really paying attention. His stomach felt odd, and he felt cold liquid running down his leg and onto his ankle.

"Hold on, is that _blood_?" James snapped his eyes to the hole shot through his suit, and he noticed a bullet wedged inside of Peter's calf.

_Shit._

Tony was going to kill him.

* * *

"Oh, wig." Peter muttered absentmindedly, as if having a bullet inside of you wasn't at all concerning. In truth, he was scared. Really scared. But he was also tired and wanted to stop talking and to just lay down and close his eyes. Even blinking seemed to make him feel dizzy.

"What-" Bucky looked at the kid incredulously. Even when he's hurt, the kid had the absolute nerve to reference a fucking Gen Z culture thing- he'll ask him about it later. Right now, Peter was bleeding out in the grass and he had no idea what to do.

"Buck?" Sam asked, not really used in this field either, gently turning Spider-Man's leg as to not hurt him. "Uh, what do we do?"

"We could, we could um-" James racked his head, trying to think of solutions that might work. "We can't really just pull the bullet out of him, and we can't let Stark know-"

"Move aside greasy head," said an arrogant voice behind them, "let the professional handle this."

"Stark." Bucky growled at him, but moved aside anyway, making sure the kid was still safe. Bucky felt like he should protect Peter. He was, after all, the youngest superhero he knew so far.

Tony ignored him and knelt beside Peter, running his fingers through his hair. "Hey, Pete, can you hear me?"

"Mmm... Mr... Iron Man?" Peter offered, smiling goofily, and Stark laughed lightly and observed his leg.

"God, kid, you're something." Shaking his head, he grabbed the first aid kit he brought plus some tweezers. "Alright, I'm gonna have to pull this out, okay kid? We're gonna.. we're gonna bring you back to the tower and get rid of the stuff in your system, alright? The bullet's poisoned and you're probably feeling tired as shit but you're gonna be okay."

The bullet was _poisoned_? Jesus, Bucky wished that he had killed the man who hurt the kid.

Upon seeing James' expression, Peter looked up at him. "It's alright, Sarge, I've had worse, believe me."

He supposed that was supposed to bring comfort, but instead it brought even more sadness and anger. _He shouldn't have worse. He's like, what, twelve, thirteen? Wait no, he was fifteen. _He looked around and saw that every adult had the relatively same pained expression as him when they heard that sentence.

Sam winced empatheticaly as heard Peter sniffle quietly as Stark pulled out the wound. All of the Avengers had gone through this at least once or twice, but they knew that it came from the line of work, that they would always get hurt.

But Peter's just a kid.

A kid with a weird sense of humour sometimes, but a kid nonetheless.

"It's alright, kid, we're almost done." Tony seemed calm, but Bucky noticed that his hands were shaking as he tried to pull the bullet out, and that stress beads were forming on his forehead, and that he was breathing more heavily, probably to try and ground himself and stay close to reality. Sam placed a comforting hand on Stark's shoulder and smiled encouragingly at him, just as the bullet had finally been pulled out.

Peter whimpered and bit his lip, tears welling up in his eyes and choking out a strangled sob. He hated it so much, no anesthesia worked on him, he had to be awake for surgery or he needed to be punch out, it _hurt_ so much.

Tony wrapped a bandage on his wound for now. "Alright, we need to bring him to the tower." He said to particularly no one, and attempted to carry him.

Peter wouldn't budge, and the kid almost giggled. Even Sam snickered a bit.

"No offence Stark," Wilson said, still smiling, "maybe let Buck carry him, he does have super human strength."

Iron Man grumbled, but let Bucky pick Peter up anyway, and flew back to the tower with silent anger. Falcon sighed and followed him back with full inetntions of calming him down.

Stark Tower wasn't that far away, so Bucky just carried the kid and walked.

"Hey kid?"

"Yeah, sarge?" He answers.

"What does 'wig' mean?"

Peter laughed again and explained it for him in attempt to not slip into unconsciousness.

* * *

Tony had yelled at Sam and Bucky once they got there, while Bruce _freaking_ Banner helped Peter empty his system to make sure no remnants of poisoned remained.

He was worried, he was scared, he was afraid that he wouldn't had made it there in time, and it was his fucking responsibility to make sure the kid was okay.

James and Falcon endured, and Stark refused to tell them that he was worried for the kid, checked on Peter afterwards, and probably headed over to his lab to tinker and take his mind off of Peter's whimpers.

But Peter was okay now.

So Bucky and Wilson headed over to his room where Peter had his leg wrapped with bandages to say goodnight, and Peter smiled at them.

"Goodnight, thanks Obama."

Sam doubled over in laughter and the fact that Peter actually said something he could understand. Bucky looked over at them confused as all hell. Poor greasy old man.

"Seriously kid, what the fuck does that mean?"

* * *

There ya have it. This is the longest chapter I've ever written in my life, but then again it's a one shot chapter so it would make sense I guess.

Please comment and leave some constructive criticism, and maybe if you'd like, leave some suggestions! You guys are awesome.


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